(aka, “Don’t Gossip about Offenses”)

The “Someone Offends Me” Chart

Some time ago, the Victory Today Facebook page posted someone’s Bible study notes without context. As of this writing, 2.5 years later, it has been reposted (Shared) 88 THOUSAND times.

The original author said that in her original context, she was only talking about small things, and she was sorry this was shared without her context. So with that disclaimer I’ll proceed, because Victory Today gave only this chart, and this is the only context that 88,000 people had for reposting it.

You can see that post here, but this is basically the way it went:



  • Tell people ALL about it.


  • Go DIRECTLY to God in prayer.
  • The listeners begin to think less of my offender.


  • He listens to me and gives me His (better) perspective.
  • They JOIN me in speaking negatively about my offender.


  • I feel PEACE! The “need” to vent to others is gone.
  • I have succeeded in:
  1. Causing others to sin
  2. Creating division in relationship
  3. Making myself more upset by re-hashing the details over & over
  4. DIRECTLY, KNOWINGLY, AND WILLFULLY disobeying God’s Word by reacting according to my flesh rather than submitting to the Spirit.


  • I have honored God by valuing UNITY over the (very) temporary pleasure of gossiping* gaining sympathy from others!

This concept of “not talking about offenses against you” is a huge one in the Christian world. So let’s think about it.

There are times when going only to God is exactly what we need to do. There are times when ignoring an “offense” is the right thing.

But there are times when we need to do more than that. Scriptural figures set the example for us.









Go here to download your free Guide, How to Enjoy the Bible Again (when you’re ready) After Spiritual Abuse (without feeling guilty or getting triggered out of your mind). You’ll receive access to both print and audio versions of the Guide (audio read by me). I’m praying it will be helpful.

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