In a recent interview (which you can watch here), Rachael Denhollander, who spoke in court against the sexual-abuser-disguised-as-a-doctor Larry Nassar, talked about the horrific ignoring, enabling, and victim-blaming that has been perpetrated in USA Gymnastics and at Michigan State University (which she detailed in her victim-impact statement). Here are her words in that interview:
Both organizations have said, “We’re going to move forward. We want to be a safe place.” But until they can acknowledge what they have done wrong, I have no hope that they are really moving forward.
The words that she applied to those two organizations, I want to apply to two other organizations.
Sovereign Grace Ministries
Even though this organization went through a court case in which a former youth worker of theirs was condemned for decades of sexual assault, there was no significant acknowledgement outside the courtroom that the men who ran the organization had done wrong. Even though a formal complaint was registered with the court system regarding many more alleged perpetrators than just this one, there was still no public acknowledgement of wrongdoing by the leaders of the organization.
In fact, the wagon-circlers among the conservative Reformed evangelical leaders in their move-along-people-nothing-to-see-here fashion, told their readers, for example, that they would be best served by not learning too much about this situation, as if to imply that their readers would never no never be aware of any actual real-life person who had been abused in the context of any church or organization related to Sovereign Grace Ministries.
So it happened that pastors received the impression, from that source and many others, that they would be wiser to avoid reading the Second Amended Class-Action Complaint, which actually all of us would do well to read in order to acknowledge and honor those who were victimized in this context, which you can see here.
So I paraphrase Rachael’s words to leaders of Sovereign Grace Ministries (now called Sovereign Grace Churches): “Until you can actually acknowledge what you’ve done wrong, there are those of us who have no hope that you are really moving forward.”
Bob Jones University
This very conservative fundamentalist organization went through an investigation (by the GRACE independent investigators) into their miserable mishandling of sexual abuse reports (including abuse on campus, including at least one on-campus rape) that produced a three-hundred-page report telling them what they had done wrong and what they should do to make it right, which you can read at the link on this page here.
But in spite of all this, the only apology offered was a weak one by a president who had been installed only months before it was time to apologize, not by the people who had actually done wrong. At least one man who had committed what appeared to be the vast majority of shaming, blaming, and re-victimizing told me personally he wouldn’t publicly acknowledge his wrong or ask forgiveness.
The many men and women who reported about their abuse to the investigating organization (G.R.A.C.E., founded by Boz Tchividjian) were largely ignored (though there was a brief window of time when they could speak to the new president personally so he could personally say he was sorry for something he hadn’t done).
So I paraphrase Rachael’s words to the appropriate leaders of Bob Jones University: “Until you can truly acknowledge what you’ve done wrong, there are those of us who have no hope that you are really moving forward.”
(And I’ll add that the ones avoiding the truth about abuse in Christian organizations, pretending everything is fine and shaming survivors are in fact some of the very same people who laud those like Rachael Denhollander who come forward about abuse in the context of gymnastics.)
I know this statement could be repeated over and over and over for many Christian organizations. Will you continue to hide your wrongdoing? Will you continue to send the most vulnerable away from Christianity instead of drawing them to the loving Shepherd of their souls?
May it never be. Instead, publicly confess your wrongdoings and how you’ve hurt others, and step down from ministry. Encourage the people around you to listen to those who have been abused instead of what you and your supporters have been doing: continuing to ignore them and blame them, telling them they’ll “never be satisfied,” and even calling them names.
This is not the heart of Jesus. This is not who Jesus is. If you know Him, show us by doing the right thing.
Go here to download your free Guide, How to Enjoy the Bible Again (when you’re ready) After Spiritual Abuse (without feeling guilty or getting triggered out of your mind). You’ll receive access to both print and audio versions of the Guide (audio read by me). I’m praying it will be helpful.