Rachael Denhollander Lost Her Church Over Her Advocacy for Abuse Survivors

Rachael Denhollander, the first of the infamous Larry Nassar’s victims to speak publicly, is a Christian. A real Christian. That’s very obvious from her powerful victim impact statement that was posted yesterday. The full transcript of that statement can be read here, but this is the part I want to emphasize:

If you [Larry Nassar] have read the Bible you carry, you know the definition of sacrificial love portrayed is of God himself loving so sacrificially that he gave up everything to pay a penalty for the sin he did not commit. By his grace, I, too, choose to love this way. 

 You spoke of praying for forgiveness. But Larry, if you have read the Bible you carry, you know forgiveness does not come from doing good things, as if good deeds can erase what you have done. It comes from repentance which requires facing and acknowledging the truth about what you have done in all of its utter depravity and horror without mitigation, without excuse, without acting as if good deeds can erase what you have seen this courtroom today.

 Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be there for you.

I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me — though I extend that to you as well.

Her words and her life make it clear that she is a Christian, a follower and a lover of Jesus Christ.

So then, with that knowledge in mind, considering that she as a Christian would have been in a church that claims to love God and love others, to follow the God of the Bible, consider these other words from her victim impact statement:

Even my status as a sexual assault victim has impacted or did impact my ability to advocate for sexual assault victims because once it became known that I too had experienced sexual assault, people close to me used it as an excuse to brush off my concerns when I advocated for others who had been abused, saying I was just obsessed because of what I had gone through, that I was imposing my own experience upon other institutions who had massive failures and much worse.

My advocacy for sexual assault victims, something I cherished, cost me my church and our closest friends three weeks before I filed my police report. I was left alone and isolated.

What? What kind of travesty is this? Why was Rachael Denhollander left alone and isolated three weeks before she filed her police report? Could it be it because she “advocated for others who had been abused”? Was it because her church didn’t want to hear what she had to say?

There is more to this story, and as monstrously horrible were Larry Nassar’s deeds of darkness, there is more going on, in a covering of deeds of darkness in our churches.

May God rip the cover off the efforts of our churches to hide behind the thin façade of pleasant appearances, offering quick forgiveness for a repentance that looks nothing like the Biblical repentance Rachael described in her paragraphs above.

If God has mercy on our churches, it may look something like the Larry Nassar trial. If God has mercy on our churches, the judge may look something like Judge Rosemarie Aquilina. If God has mercy on our churches, the entire church world may actually stand up and listen as one victimized survivor after another comes forward and speaks. If God has mercy on our churches, we may yet avoid the millstones.


A follow-up post about Rachael Denhollander can be found here.

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Carol Holzman
Carol Holzman
4 years ago

Wow…Wow. And I stand in deep shame and repentance as I have realized that my complacency has helped to cause people to be abused. And I am also a survivor of sexual abuse. God, please forgive me and let me be a voice for those who have to be heard.

Carol Blakeman
4 years ago

Thats the absolute worst part. I cannot understand that.

Carolyn G.
Carolyn G.
4 years ago
Reply to  Rebecca Davis

In addition to the victims of abuse, add the victims of divorce through adultery. My ‘pastor’ covered it up and, after much thought, I’ve decided he did this so he could avoid a scandal in the church and keep himself uninvolved. He completely abdicated his job of ‘shepherd’. I’ve also concluded that pastors are pastors to men, not women. Exceptions? Probably. I just haven’t seen one yet.

4 years ago

I too have been ousted and tossed aside because I stood for righteousness.

Anytime someone is confronted with sin that hits too close to home the gloves go up.

Especially leadership. I too have had varying experiences trying to defend myself against blatant sin done against me.

I know what it is like to plead with leadership to do the right thing.

Rachael said repeatedly said she did what she did was because it was the right thing to do.

She is right. When an abuser feels the crushing weight of his actions is only when you see real repentance.

As a child, abuse of every kind was my daily occurance. It follwed me everywhere. To church, being raped at the hands of a pastor who did it to me on the alter meant for the wine and the bread. Repeating this do in remembrance of me in my ear.
To the Ywam leaders who thought three of us were demonized and needed exorcism in front of the whole school. And thrown away and sent home when no demons were excised.

Who then told leadership we were rebellious. For two years I attended church with the leader of my YWAM base. Because my life had been spiritually destroyed at that point, I went to him.
He told me he got rid of us to save his reputation and that of the base.

He realized it was his fault. He had set leadership over us he knew were not capable of leading. He got rid of us knowing we were not demonized. We were NOT the problem.
He did do what I needed him to do to make restitution. I asked him to write a letter taking full blame to my fellow students. He did. I kept that letter. I said i would distribute it. I never did.

I didnt need to clear my name. I was blameless. I figured the big guy in the sky could deal with him far better than I.

But why did it take two years to admidt it? Why did I have to confront him?
When I first met with him his first words were,its been two years, why does it still bother you?

This is the key. He sat for two years seeing me on Sunday. He sat for two years a pillar of YWAM wonderfulness , unrepentant.

My belief is that none of these people KNOW GOD. They have an outward appearance of knowing God. But they are long past listening to the voice of the HS. They have suppressed the knowledge of God in unrighteousness. They have held down the truth. Because it would cause them harm to repent and lose reputation.
They suppress the truth and believe whatever story they come up with to cover up the truth because they have become futile in their thinking. It says that in Romans 1:18 forward.

I have a very HIGH expectation or standard of righteousness for the body of Christ. I have mercy when I see true repentance.
I dont have a desire or time to waste with dilly dally Christians.

They have the same God I do, who has tranformed and changed me. The same God who will restore if repentance is real. The same God that transformed Paul the apostle. And yet there is no transformation, no power and no overcoming.

People might interpet that as bitterness.

It’s not bitterness.

I just think if you claim to have walked with God for a long time, 10 yrs onward you should be soft, pliable. Humility, love, kindness should almost be pouring out of your veins.

Your standard of righteousness should be accute. Your conscience should be finely tuned to when you sin. There should be a measure of refinement seen in your spirit.
When someone like Rachael or I stand for the abused and oppressed there should be all fruits of the spirit visible.

People probably think I expect too much. People are falible.no one is perfect.

Well, my answer to that is why did Jesus bother dying a horrible death then?
Was it not to save us FROM sin? Is he inadequate to do as he said? Is the HS unable to help us ?

I just think God, the trinity is who they say they are and able to do what they say they can do.

The fault is not on them.

Its a problem with us.
I have seen the vile dirty rotten end of abuse by unrepentant Christians. I have spent years and years silent, afraid. Inwardly fighting for some standard of righteousness. Looking and being constantly disapointed.

Always looking at people who claim righteousness but their action betray who they say they are.

I have also started to see there are a few out there who do embody the qualities of Christ.

I really think the church as a whole does not know the power of Christ or the Holy Spirit.
We have become lazy, docile, stiff necked and arrogant in our sin. Complacent, in our sin.

And when someone like Rachael comes and raises that standard we start to smell our own vileness and we dont like it. So we hold it down and suppress the truth. It exposes our hearts we dont like seeing it, so people like Rachael lose , get pushed aside.

So the church supress the Rachaels, the ones who stand for righteousness, just like they did to our saviour.

It cost Rachael. Standing up, doing right cost her. I cant help but think though that, that is the epitome of the Gospel.

I have lived with unrepentant apologies. I have seen the difference of “repentance” to just get rid of the problem vs. The repentance of being laid out bare swallowed by the magnitude of devastation left in sins wake, not caring what anyone thinks, because in those moments the only thing you can see is the vileness of your own heart. And the fruit of that repentance.

The church has fallen for the lines “everyone sins” “nobody is perfect” , “dont judge lest ye be judged”

Its all crap. Its all excuses to like sin. Its an excuse not to repent.

I’m deeply saddened by the complacency to wallow in sin. And to think its ok.

I hate the state of the church. I hate the overall thing she has become.

Programs, safeguards to protect the innocent in churches are fine. But it will never root out the pervasive sin in our pews. Sweet moving, emotional evoking worship will not clean out the church of sexual sin or any other sin.

Wordly steps of “restitution” will not clean out the church.

There is help. There is victory over sin. We can run that race, we can move onto perfection. We can be transformed.
But when the message of “forgiveness” is our first and last stop in Christianity it will never happen.

When people like Andy Savage are applauded, and the Rachael Denhollander’s lose everybody in her church, that is not the church of Jesus Christ. That is the church of another Jesus.

The real Jesus exposes us for who we are, brings us to repentance, tranforms and gives us victory over sin to be more like him everyday we walk with him. If we want him and seek him he will be found, not to wallow in sin, but to be without spot or wrinkle.

Thanks for letting me post this rant. I am so tired of the state of the church. I’m tired of people who will not acknowledge the wayward church. Im sick of Christians pointing at the worlds sin, “calling people out” marching at abortion rallies, all while the pews are putrid, foul, and full of every sort of evil.

Lets just call it what it is. The church overall at this point is in dire straights.

It wont change unless there is repentance.

And not the Andy Savage type of repentance and restitution.

4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Bunkababy. I could not agree with your assessment more. I have no words after reading your comment. God Bless you.

Nancy Oren-Jezek
Nancy Oren-Jezek
4 years ago
Reply to  TKO

Amen amen amen PERFERCTLY SAID!!!! Thank you ❤️

Barbara Roberts
4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Thanks Bunkababy!

Preach it from the mountaintops!

4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

This comment says it all. THANK YOU.

Marilyn Buckmaster
Marilyn Buckmaster
4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Bunkababy, I am reading this at 11:00pm on Jan 25. I have never seen a clearer exposition of what the problem is in so called Bible Believer’s churches, no matter what their brand names are. Thank you for posting. A whole generation of children to adults born from 1968 to the present have been in my radar. I’ve seen the destruction of the spiritual lives of these precious children to adults. Some make it in this evil world, some don’t, escaping by many ways, suicide, retaliation, personality changes to make one a dependent on society rather than being a contributing member. The sins of the father’s are often visited in the children and their children, who now grown, perpetuated the solidarity of sin they learned at an earlier age. I can speak on this from personal experience and that of my children and others of close connection. The worst is the total denial of the God who could heal them from the deepest part of their hurt. My children’s classmates who went and are stil going thru Hell on earth because of their parents persistance in following a “god man”. Even after escaping the cult of this group, the families had no way to find an earthly healer and often kept the cult going even as they denied it’s truth and/or rightness. There is hope, it all depends on the mercy or the one true God
and the receptiveness of all involved. My family escaped, sort of. We left the cult church and could not find a fellowship without the potential of dragging us into being ruled by the whims of the church. My husband died before we founda good fellowship where I could find forgiveness for what my sons had becaome because of our choice to stay One son through alcohol and drugs for 20 years. Now free of alcohol and drugs, he works at basically minimum wage, watching church on tv rather than becoming a committed member. The other son when through chaotic yound adult years, then finally he went to college, was class president, valedictorian of his class, and now has an excellent job in IT. My heart is heavy for this lost generation who will beget another lost generation without God’s direct intervention.

4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Just butting in about YWAM: I am not surprised, as I know from many testimonies about the unhealthy hierarchical nature of that organisation and their abusive practices. They are a very respected and adored organisation and there are many sincere people who joined their ranks all around the world, but I would not recommend their teachings nor their practical ministry style.
So many stories of mistreatment in the name of ‘authority’…

Thankfully, the Lord never allowed me to join their training schools anywhere – not that I ever felt interested .. I have however read many of their books and the glowing testimonies about their ministry.
I know what it’s like when you’re labeled as having a demon, and it’s an accusation and judgement one feels practically powerless to stand against – denial is of course seen as an another symptom of ‘rebellion’, more proof that you need to submit and ‘get free’…!
I have actually sought the Lord quite a bit about that, how can one defend oneself against these ‘well meaning diagnoses’, and He reminded me of the event in the New testament where Jesus was accused of having an evil spirit.. He very firmly replied that ‘I have no demon but you are insulting me’. No long arguments, no explanations, but He maintained His dignity.

That’s a great answer to any groundless diagnosis, be it ‘bitterness’, ‘craziness’, ‘unforgiveness’ or any other cliche thrown around so carelessly in the church circles.

4 years ago

My question is this. Why is it the broken , sexually abused, rise to the top to defend?
I know for myself I will defend the abused in whatever capacity I am able.
My injuries from abuse are acute and walk with me everyday. My limitations of mind remain.

I sound okay, I might look okay but the damage is done. But what is it in the Rachael Denhollander’s that make her able to stand up?

What is it in broken people , what is the ingedient that makes them fight and stand up?
Even non Christians do this.

There must be something about brokenness, depravity, and weakness that wakes up the soul.

Maybe that is why true repentance causes so much change.
Because a truly repentant person has seen the depravity and weakness of their being?

There must be a link between the utter brokenness of any sort of abuse , or tragedy and real true repentance that brings people to the same understanding.

Is it just weakness?

Barbara Roberts
4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Good question, Bunkababy.

I think it has a lot to do with this: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” (Matt 5:6)

We victims of abuse hunger and thirst for righteousness. And our hunger and thirst is usually stronger than the hunger and thirst of those who have not been abused… because ours comes from the deep well of experience — the experience of having been targeted and abused by servants of satan who relished doing evil to us.

Barely Survivng
Barely Survivng
4 years ago

Elsewhere you stated that many are not believed in the church. Yes! Yes! and Yes! At the same time, I feel like there is something far darker at play in the church circles we live in.

There are some who may not believe us because they truly don’t know. They accept the deceit of religious leaders without seeming to question, but they really don’t know what is true. For a variety of reasons, they take the easy path of looking away. That is difficult and frustrating for those of us who feel so isolated in religious circles. Their reactions and dismissal makes me feel so very alone and without value.

But there is something far worse, something that feels as if my very soul is touched by the cruel fingers of a poison that destroys what it touches. There are many in our community who DO know. They know. They have chosen to harden their hearts to the victims. They have decided that the perpetrators, their religion, their churches, Christian schools, etc. are all of far more value than the slaughter of the innocent all around them. They do this under the cloak of godly counsel and sermons that emphasizes a brand of forgiveness that is simply a path for evil to triumph and the innocent to be shamed and shunned.

Some of those whose betrayal has wreaked the most havoc on my own shattered heart and in the lives of those around me, has been through those who actually DID stop and listen. They listened. They spoke as if they cared. They promised to walk with us. Slowly we began to trust, to begin to find healing, but it didn’t take long to find out that it was all a farce.

In the end, the ties between religious leaders were simply too strong for love and truth to win out. Those who promised to help and reassured us that they truly cared became the ones whose wounds cut the most deeply.
In the end, they simply chose to protect each other. They abandoned us in every way.

These are the ones who teach and preach that abuse is evil. They praise those who take a stand for abuse in a secular environment. They readily volunteer to help those in foreign lands whose have walked the path of horror as a trafficked child, an innocent enslaved to the lusts of those who would only destroy.

But while compassion, love and support for these who are so desperately in need of help is beautiful, that passion quickly shrivels and dies when the offender is their friend, their neighbor, someone in their circles.

It dies when the lines get blurred and gray areas show up. What happens when one learns that a friend or neighbor knew about ongoing abuse, but remained silent? What happens when the perpetrator is someone loved and respected and the victims don’t have anything to offer?

I feel like I’m going to be sick. Some of those who betrayed so many of us so deeply are now publicly applauding the gymnast survivors.

Their support seems to be only a way for them to comfort themselves for abandoning the victims they know best, those who are close to home, but who were abused by their community.

I will trust no one who takes a stand for strangers who were offended by strangers, friends who were offended by strangers, but does not support the victims within their community who were offended by their friends and peers.

4 years ago

Last night I watched her testimony and the judge’s comments as she sentenced Nassar. So incredibly powerful. I’m too skeptical and have heard too many stories to think that there may be a change in the churches, but I am hoping there will be some kind of shift in our society as this movement of exposing the truth about abusers continues. It is pathetic that any part of our culture is being more righteous than the church, but that is what is happening.

You said it so well, Bunkababy: “When people like Andy Savage are applauded, and the Rachael Denhollander’s lose everybody in her church, that is not the church of Jesus Christ. That is the church of another Jesus.”

cindy burrell
4 years ago

It is really stunning to read the accounts here, and I grieve with the victims who dare to share – and those still living in fear. Having read many, many other similar testimonies, it is truly disturbing to know that the close-minded, the doubters and the defenders of the wicked are so prevalent within the secular world and – more appalling – within the body of Christ. While the secular world is exposing abuse and corruption, the church’s pattern of protecting abusers of every stripe continues. It makes me sick.

Why is it that the church demonizes victims and shields predators? I still haven’t been able to figure that one out.

Barbara Roberts
4 years ago
Reply to  cindy burrell

“Why is it that the church demonizes victims and shields predators?”

I believe one of the big reasons is that many church attenders and most church leaders are not born again. They do not know Jesus Christ. They may think they do, but they don’t.

4 years ago

I have never gone back to my original church of origin. The church that held me captive as a kid. The forces of evil in that church were a force of pure evil.
I was not the only abused child. My memories are close and yet far away kept safe. I leave them there to keep me safe.

During my mid 20s i stumbled upon a woman my age whom I had known throughout childhood. Our young families bonded.

It was as if God gave each of us each other. She was a child whom suffered along side me at that church.
Together we pieced together the whole picture.

Not one of us has confronted or been back to that church. There were more of us. But we all remain silent.

There is no point. We would all be branded liars.
What happened at our church was only a small part of a bigger circle of abhorrent sexual crime.

I had learned earlier going to the police to report crimes in and out of my house peretrated by my parents was too scary, too big, and I couldnt carry the repercussions alone.

To implicate my parents was to implicate the church as the two were so intertwined.
I was threatened, followed, and intimidated by my abusers.

I had 4 kids under 6 yrs old. A husband who definitley could not cope with my disclosures and rejected me.

When everyone in your life is unsafe ….. i have no idea how I made it through those years.
I did have a therapist, the church was not equipped to deal with me. They tried praying for me.
Which was good. But it soon was apparent they could not deal with what was coming down the pipe.

We quit church. And our so called circle of church people abandoned us. Not a peep. Crickets.

To be honest I would have abandoned me too.l’m scary. My history is frightening. It is why I stay anonymous.

Even if the church was accepting of abuse and the whirlwind that comes with it. I dont think the church is capable of dealing with the trauma of abuse. From a victim’s or survivors point of view.

I think the repercussions, the fall out, and the utter trauma that can happen to the mind as in my case, can only be handled by professionals.

Even then it is a stretch.

Sin is one thing in the church. Dealing with the aftermath of sin from a victims view as it stands the church is not a safe place.

The church or some say it is. They want to be, but are ill equipped.
Kind well meaning elder ladies prayed for me, i went forward for prayer -every-service- for -4 y rs straight. And for 4 yrs straight bawled, screamed, shook with pain and confusion. A never ending cry fest.

As nice as they were to welcome me week after week, I was too much. I knew I was too much.

I quit.

Now I look back at all those years crying. The one thing the church did right was let me cry! I didnt know why I Cried, but I cried for days. I Cried.

That church facilitated a place to cry! And for that i am thankful.
It wasnt until I quit church and went to therapy where the shit hit the fan.

But with all the crying out of my system I was able to confront my abuse without being overwhelmed with sorrow.

I dont know how to fix the church. I dont know what can be done to facilitate health for sufferers of any sort of abuse within the church walls.

But I can say letting it be a safe place to cry without shame, fear or anger would be a start.

I know the church is not equipped to deal with abuse victims. That needs outside education and resources and that is where the church fails to recognise the importance of these people.

Whitewashing trauma, by expecting healing asap is stupid and abusive. Blaming the victim for not enough faith is evil. Not enough praying is vile.

I could suggest what not to do.
And I think that is why when church members confronted with the fall out of crime or abuse in their midst they wither and scurry away.

Instead of saying we have no clue, they throw out anything they can think of, denial, shame, guilt, accusations. Etc. Just to get rid of the scary thing in their midst.

The church has to stop avoiding medicine and science. They need to stop debunking trauma to the mind. Its real. Its as real as breaking a leg.

Yes Jesus can restore. Yes he heals. And he uses both the church and medicine to heal.

I’m sorry I went off on a rant again. This stuff has been swirling for years in my mind with no avenue of release.

I dont have all the answers. But I do know compassion and love, with no strings attached do alot of good. No agenda, and no personal saviour exploits on survivors is key.

My recovery has been in isolation for the most part. Even in my marriage. For the exception of those crying years, and 4 years with my friend and therapist, it has only been me and God.

And God has been proven to remain closer than a brother, faithful beyond measure, and real beyond real.
And quite surprising and out of the box.

It would have been easier with support. And my wish is the church would clean up its act. My wish is for it to become the extension of Jesus so people like me, my friend and others dont have to walk this road alone.

And my biggest wish? Would be my voice and story could be believed and heard, because it is a whopper.

And I know there are others like me who stay silent. We stay silent because it is so outrageously grotesque the only ears who want to hear are Jesus’s ears. And those who have to hear because you pay them to.

Barbara Roberts
4 years ago
Reply to  Bunkababy

Thank you so much Bunkababy. I believe you.

4 years ago

Taking a stand will reveal the real Christ followers.
One brave and courageous Christian woman.
You will be cast out. Alone and isolated.

4 years ago

May I add
God shows no pity for a perpetrator who refuses to repent .
Why should the victim show pity?

Andrea G
4 years ago

Maybe it’s my naiveté. I just believe God’s word and trust we have to obey it. Doesn’t he call for us to love and support one another especially those in pain? Isn’t He close to the brokenhearted and would expect our love to make us close to those brokenhearted as well?

I can’t understand our need as churches to still treat survivors like piranha and to act as if abuse doesn’t exist. I remember how folks used to whisper when they found out a child had been molested by a parent who was in the church. Why are we still whispering and treating the topic with shame, while those outside the church treat it the way we should be treating it in the church. This is something I just don’t understand. Sexual abuse is sin. Why don’t we focus on it as such and address the need in our churches?

I know I’ve asked a bunch of rhetorical questions but it does sadden me while as the same time energizes me. There are some churches which are taking the proper action to help survivors. I applaud those churches and hope others will follow. And I’m energized to help those churches who want to support folks but just don’t know how.

My prayer is when people do take a stand, even if people abandon them, the presence of God would be so real they won’t even feel as if they are alone.

listening ear
listening ear
4 years ago

Will we hear more about the church situation that Rachael referred to?

4 years ago

Years ago, at a woman’s retreat, a timid young woman came to the microphone at 9pm; our Sat evening group share time. Her brother, who had recently died in a car accident, had sexually abused her. She had “no way” of confronting her abuser.

And then the flood gates opened. At 1PM I turned to my friend and said: I simply cannot hear One. More. Story. of sexual abuse and went to my bedroom.

These were churched women! Women who were opening their souls to the abuse in their lives.

Ladies: Listen to your friends when they feel safe to open up. Guide them to the proper kind of help. Don’t stop until justice has been served. Please don’t stop.
No matter the shame. No matter suffering. Hebrews 12:1-2.

4 years ago

I’ve also experienced suffering and long term effects from abuse from my husband and the church. Most churches claim to be a bible teaching church. But in regards to what God says about the unrepentant in 1 Corinthians 5:5, it’s like it doesn’t even exist! He has different instructions depending on what the context is. It IS God’s mercy to use consequences to allow a person to come to real repentance if they choose to. It IS loving the perpetrators. It doesn’t mean they will, but it IS giving them a chance, and that IS grace. I’ve NEVER seen this lived out in any church community I’ve been a part of. I have heard too many times “We are all sinners” and therefore need to be treated the same, has been used only to give perpetrators more power and justification. He tells us to expose what is in the dark! The truth will set us free…including the perpetror. Even if he remains in jail for life and truly repents and his soul is saved he is free. I’m still very alone and isolated, not because I want it that way, but because I have and will continue to expose what is in the dark. Even though I still feel oppressed, in my spirit there is an unseen freedom in standing against evil and pursuing justice, and extending a hand to other victims. The other part of scripture that isn’t taught about much is Revelation. Maybe there’s a reason why pastors don’t want to emphasize this book. Is it too close to home??? So many times it warns for those who have ears to hear…it can be scary and a comfort for victims at the same time. God WILL bring justice to victims, and make everything right. Until then He instructs us to love and have compassion for the weak and vulnerable…and continue to pursue justice, even if it feels like we are alone, HE is carrying us.

4 years ago

Yes I too have been under spiritual abuse… But today my divorce was FINAL. My sex addict ex husband of 44 years sent me a tex message saying he was “praying for me”
After being saved from Catholisim and coming to the knowledge of the truth broke away from friends in the Bill Gothard cult, thinking my husband was saved but having miriades of affairs, separated for 9 years and thinking he was repentant, reunited with him only to find out his 10 mistress was seeking him out after giving him grace with his porn addiction.
After reading this I sound like an idiot.
Even God gets fed up but thankful for His mercy His Word, showing me what I was truly dealing with and a way out of this crazy marriage.

Laura Grace
4 years ago

This is just sad. I was a victim of abuse for many many years and nearly died in the process. Even today when someone at a book signing picked up a copy of Grace to the Rescue and saw I’d been divorced “throws it down” And says “No thank you” Frankly I don’t know what to do. I have to reach those who are hurting in the corners somewhere and pray for them and it’s all a big secret. it reminds me of the days of the Pharisees. I just do not understand it and i truly do not

Bless you! Glad you have a voce! I can relate to your struggles.

4 years ago

Me, too. My former best church “friends” went further and tried to destroy me over standing up against abuse. I can’t even handle going to any church anymore.

4 years ago

I’ve got a lot of respect for Ms. Rachael Denhollander. Shame on such a church.

4 years ago

Rape and victim-blaming are, unfortunately, still a poison in Christianity. Almost as much so is the value placed on virginity. Rape victims are viewed as defiled by their defilement. Shamed. Dirtied. Of less value.

A relative commented, after learning that a friend of mine had been raped, how tragic it was that she, who had been so popular, was now not a virgin, and how sad that now she’d have a harder time finding a Christian husband. I was shocked – and then horrified, as almost everyone in a group of women agreed with her.

Christian Patriarchy lies at the root of this outrageous and should-be outdated thinking. Girls in many denominations are encouraged to pledge themselves and their purity to their fathers. The Duggar family hid sexual abuse and enlisted its victims to protect the perpetrator, their brother. This is far from unusual.

We’ve come a long way, baby…..and still have hundreds of miles to go.

Alan Hoyle
3 years ago

Can I also say that “church” is supposed to have and to do what is commonly called Ecclesiastic Court. That a hearing takes place and a judgment is sentenced. Also what must be understood, but is not today, because of the lack of people knowing and understanding the Law, Natural Law, and the laws from Holy Scripture. For Repentance to be found and taken place, thus ending with forgiveness, this Court must take place, and the sentencing must take place, of which also means that payment must be made for sins, crimes, wrongs. Thus the victim, has or receives some sort of relief, due to the “criminal” being held accountable for what they did, and if they see for what they did as wrong, and wronged Father Yahovah first and the other person second, then they can find forgiveness, after coming “clean” and willingness and do pay the debt of the wages for what they have done. I am working on these subjects so I can present them, in that, if we will return to the system that our Creator set up for His Kingdom, then maybe America and our World might be spared another generation.


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