Yesterday I talked about 3 kinds of good fear, fear that isn’t sinful and is actually good and pleasing to God. Today . . .
Three scenarios when fear is unnecessary and even harmful
And sinful? Well maybe in some cases. (But then again in most of these cases, probably not.)
1. When we know there is nothing (else) we can or should do to accomplish physical safety
In a medical crisis, for example, when the healing is out of our hands, or a weather crisis, when safety is out of our hands.
Even in a crisis that’s life-threatening because of the wickedness of others—if we’ve done all we can.
This is why in Acts 12 Peter was able to fall asleep next to the soldier in prison while the folks back home were praying for him.
The good purpose of fear, as I mentioned yesterday, is to fill a person with the energy to take action in a dangerous situation. But under these circumstances, when all has been done that can be done, fear will cause adrenaline to course through the body with no outlet for (further) action. This will ultimately cause harm to the body, mind, and spirit.
On the contrary, when we’ve done all we can, then we trust Him according to promises of His care in the Scriptures.
How can we know when all the action that can be taken has been taken?
***
***
Go here to download your free Guide, How to Enjoy the Bible Again (when you’re ready) After Spiritual Abuse (without feeling guilty or getting triggered out of your mind). You’ll receive access to both print and audio versions of the Guide (audio read by me). I’m praying it will be helpful.
Thank you, Rebecca, for sorting through this issue from a scriptural perspective. It is so very helpful in untwisting the lies that our former “church” taught.
The leaders used the idea of “fear is sin” to shame and guilt me when I was experiencing post traumatic symptoms as a result of growing up in an extremely violent and abusive family of origin.
Their use of deceptive methods to trigger me as a form of “healing” almost put me over the edge, and only added to the trauma I had already experienced.
I was unaware of their methods until after I had gone through the breakdown. The Holy Spirit gave me the wisdom to realize what was taking place in spite of the mental distress I was going through. Our family left the church and those “friends” who chose to be loyal to the leadership, rather than admit that they had betrayed me by sharing personal information with the leadership.
They spoke and acted as if it was some special badge of honor in God’s Kingdom not to experience fear of anything.
From my personal experience, I learned that all that teaching accomplishes is to further shut down the mental processes which God instilled in our brains to function in a logical and healthy way. (Perhaps that is part of their goal.)
Every time I read your posts I feel like I’m breathing in a breath of fresh air.
Thank you and God bless you!
I’m glad it was helpful to you. I can’t tell you how encouraging it was to me to find that fear is nowhere described as sin in the Scriptures.
Dear Rebecca,
Your comparisons of trauma-based fear to having been in a cult so resonated with me! My family of origin and my large extended family as well as all their family friends all called themselves “Christians” but their daily lives disproved that possibility. Lots of examples I won’t take up space here with.
Of course, the fact that I and my siblings were physically abused regularly (other abuses of every kind too but the physical ones could be seen and heard by the neighboring relatives who lived in same apartment building) and the violent Domestic Violence between parents also could be heard by all. The resulting bruises on all of us were ever-present. We children often ran out of our house to a relative’s house to escape the beatings. They ALL KNEW children were being harmed and did and said nothing to help.
Yes, they feared 1) My father’s-the “cult-leader”-wrath coming onto themselves; 2) They feared being ostracized from the cult/clan. MORE than they feared the Holy Wrath of the God they purported to outsiders that they “served”.
To this day the violence is still happening by the same abusers and now my siblings are counted among the cult members. They are enablers, they cover up their own abuses and others’, they lie, they smear me relentlessly for exposing the truth about them as an adult.
I have lost ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS. I went to “No Contact” with my family after a violent attack for which I had to call the police. That was the big “No-No” I committed. I exposed them to outsiders. Everyone in my “family”, extended family, lifelong “friends”, duped church “friends” and congregants..turned against me for calling the police. I suppose I was “excommunicated” from the cult I had extremely minimal contact with-for my family’s physical and mental safety. I didn’t and still don’t fear that. The consequences were costly for sure. My family is isolated and we are wary of people, including obviously easily duped church people. My family STILL arrogantly goes to church and are in “good standing” there despite the very real criminal evidence against them! WE are the outsiders. So we attend a “virtual church” pastored by an abuse and trauma informed pastor. (Pastor Jeff Crippen.)
I thank you for this post and look forward to your upcoming ones on related subjects. Thank you for taking the time and effort to come alongside abuse victims. Especially those whose abusers were “professing christians”. God bless you and your ministry dear sister Rebecca.
Dear Zee, Your story is unspeakably horrible. (I say “unspeakably,” and yet speaking must be done.) To think that people who are so abusive, SO ABUSIVE are representing God to others. I believe the punishment will be severe for such evildoers who have chosen to walk in such darkness. God bless you, Zee, and carry you through the days of your healing from the abuse and abandonment.
By reading your blog, I learn how much more of what I’ve heard over the years has been incorrect. So many churches teach these things, like “Fear not!” as though to fear is to sin and it’s good/beneficial to pretend that evil doesn’t exist. So many times a person is taught to ignore and dismiss the inner sense of doom/danger as though to heed such warning is to live in fear and be sinfully afraid.
I find that abusive relationships are cult-like. Marriages to an abuser are mini-cults. The abuser will instill fear in the victim as to keep the victim in the cult of their so-called ‘marriage’. And the abuser’s threats are credible. How many times do abused women find themselves isolated, given the cold shoulder by others, smeared to others? It’s pretty standard.
I learned a lot from this two-part blog postings on fear. Thanks for writing and posting it.
I can’t tell you how thankful I am to hear that. I hope to eventually do two more posts about fear–one about all the “fear nots” in the Bible (366 of them!) and one about what are sometimes called “irrational” fears that are actually prompted by past trauma.
These are Rx for my soul… re-read as necessary. Thank you for your diligence in presenting truth with clarity in places where spiritual environment’s confusion has often been sown in deceit.
I’m very thankful for that.
I’m someone who easily senses oppression about a person or a situation, and I have learned through the years that downplaying and ignoring that won’t help. Sooner or later the truth comes out, and often as much worse than I could anticipate..
Praying for wisdom, protection and direction is what I do now, whenever I feel anything unsafe.
As I am somewhat hypervigilant, due to so many unspleasant and traumatic situations over the last few years, it’s my prayer to have real discernment when needed and be free from paranoia (baseless fear and demonic intimidation..) Ignoring my gut isn’t the solution, but brining it to the Lord is the way to go.
Yes, absolutely. I hope to explore those things more in a later blog post.