Yesterday’s post presented the question from a reader and the first part of my answer, about wicked parents and how we as the body of Christ need to be teaching children to obey God rather than man. You can read Part One here.

But what about controlling parents of adults , especially those whose parents espouse some form of Patriarchal beliefs? A few months ago I made a plea to these adults in the post “To those in ‘Biblical’ Patriarchy: return to God” (link), pleading with them not to let their parents take the place of God. (This was in the section “A call to young adults under the system . . . to listen to His voice” which I hope you’ll read if you haven’t.)

So now some of these adults are looking at the “Children obey your parents” Scriptures and asking if there is any Biblical justification to do anything other than comply with everything their parents command.

Here’s the pertinent part of the letter again.

My oldest son is a very loving, kind, Scripture-studied man, very opposite his father, but cannot free his mind from those Scriptures as there is no clarity in Scripture as to an age when you would stop obeying and ever not submit to the authority God has placed over us

Now I have recently met a family with 6 children that the father has brought up not allowing them to get a driver’s license, get a job, vote, or think on their own.  They are not allowed to get counsel outside of him and not allowed to interpret Scripture outside of his interpretation.  They are completely broken.

Here is my reply.

What is an adult “child” to do when told to obey a parent who isn’t a criminal, but is controlling?

This is what you were really asking. My heart aches to hear the bondage that these young adults are in. I know that you believe this is not what God wants, and they may wonder if it’s not God wants, but they long to understand and obey the Scriptures.

So I thought about a few things.

    1. I looked at the word obey, which is the Greek word hupakouo.
    2. I researched the word children, which in both Colossians and Ephesians is the Greek word teknon, which means simply offspring or child.
    3. I looked at the context.
    4. I thought about many other statements and directives in the New Covenant about family relationships and how these relate to one’s relationship and standing with God.





This article has now been incorporated into the book Untwisting Scriptures that were used to tie you up, gag you, and tangle your mind: Book 2 Patriarchy and Authority. You can find that book here.

Go here to download your free Guide, How to Enjoy the Bible Again (when you’re ready) After Spiritual Abuse (without feeling guilty or getting triggered out of your mind). You’ll receive access to both print and audio versions of the Guide (audio read by me). I’m praying it will be helpful.

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